Dear $(6,4)@# on Survival and Detox (Part II of II)

Dear $(6,4)@#,

What’s all this detox business about?  Can you give me some pointers?

Sincerely,
Cats on a Cleanse

Deerer Cleaners,
I’ma gonna do this in serious voice: consult yer medical practitioner or naturopath if you’re gonna do something extreme, like one of those 30-day cleanses that involve taking supplements or radically changing your diet.  I’m describing an outline for gently regaining your balance after stressful events (such as work or family emergencies, being out of your natural habitat for an extended period, and body modification such as tattoos and piercings).

Capisce?

Feeling a bit unphotosynthesized, Ownie longed for sunlight after da conferenz.  It is now my pleazure to describe-bible Ownieo’s detox regimen for off-loading the stresszszs and reloading on nutrients post-event, and in general for healing (like a “heal_it_up” code in da Phantom Menace compy game, anyone remember that?).  Ownie Q also uses this regimen during the initial two weeks of tattoo and piercing healing, having successfully healed three tats and three piercings now.

Caffeine: reducing or eliminating intake.  Green tea gives that gentle kick in da pants in the morning, but one cup is good ’nuff since caffeine slows healing (it constricts blood vessels, thus reducing blood flow, and we don’t want dat).

Smoothie
            1 cup raw greens
            1 cup water
            1 serving of fresh fruit (melon=natural diuretic)
            1/4 teaspoon miso
            1 teaspoon raw apple cider vinegar or lemon juice
            dash cayenne pepper
            dash turmeric
            dash cinnamon

Blend the bejeebes out of it and drink with breakfast.

Eat whole foodz: Reduce processed foods in yer diet.  Try to eat things with ingredients you understand.

Sleep: ’Nuff said here, too.  Aim for 8 hours.  If you have to schedule it and set a reminder to go to bed, do it.  By only sleepin’ in your bed (not workin’ or loungin’ on it) you’ll associate bed wit sleep.  

Exercise: Keep it gentle but fun so that you actually do it.  Like da Ben and Jerry say, “If it’s not fun, why do it?”  Not dat we have any truck with dem anymore, but just sayin.’  Walking, biking, and being out in nature can help you recharge your brain batteryz, 222.

Yoga: Doing flows with many twisting moves can help with remove toxins from the body.  Power yoga might not be the best choice when healing; just some pranayamz (breathing) can clear your channelz to let your energy flow freely.  Throw in some breath-focused meditation (not that one can really “throw” in meditation) to help you listen to your body and get in touch wit yer “primordial wisdom” (very deep stuff).

Nightshades: Don’t recommend ’em during this time as they contain compounds which increase inflammation (they be: tomatoes, white potatoes, green peppers, and eggplant).

Time interval?  Two weeks.  Shtick to this as best as you can (note we didn’t say perfektly) and you will greatly help your body recover after occasional stressful eventz.

Sinfulcelery,
$(6,4)@#


Back to Ownie:

Closing with some music.  As Dr. Bertice Berry said during the closing keynote at the National Forum on Character Education, “Music is the most parsimonious language in the world.  Music and Ebonics.  ’Cause sometime it just be dat way.”

A playlist:
“Take ‘Em Down,” Dropkick Murphys; “Disposable Teens,” “Blank and White (Edit),” Marilyn Manson; “Another Brick in the Wall,” Parts 1-3, “The Happiest Days of Our Lives,” Pink Floyd; “Pussy,” Rammstein; “Never Gonna Stop (The Red, Red Kroovy),” Rob Zombie; “Acrobat,” U2.

And you can swallow

Or you can spit

You can throw it up

Or choke on it

And you can dream

So dream out loud

You know that your time is coming ’round

So don’t let the bastards grind you down.

--“Acrobat,” by U2