One Thing at a Time, for Realz

When I arrived at my grandparents’ house last night to spend the Easter weekend, I resolved to cook so much that when I took a shower, I would smell bread when the water first hits me.  When I make my gingerbread, I end up smelling like gingerbread all day, which is a very nice thing.  Were I ever to try to ensnare someone’s affections with food, I would make gingerbread in order to one, feed them, and two, make me smell nice.

You know that saying, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach? That saying calls to mind Akasha in the movie Queen of the Damned holding that one vampire's heart in her hands, and I believe she takes it out through his stomach.  Guess that should be "the way to stop a man's heart is through his stomach."

I learned today what to “friend zone” someone means (looked it up on Urban Dictionary), and I think that every time I come out to someone as ace I’ve automatic friend zoned them.  But an aromantic ace’s friend zone is not like a heteronormative, romantic “friend zone” since no physical attraction was intended in the first place.

Yes, I will proudly put this on my blog: I met David Jay this week.  This man is one of my heroes since I found a term to describe a very crucial aspect of myself from this article.

I know, I throw everything into these blog posts.

Two lunch shots:

My lunch during the school week in the Laptop Lunches purple bento box: pink lady and granny smith apple (blue lidded container), mustard-black-eyed pea hommos (purple lidded container), Pacific Natural Foods chocolate hazelnut milk (outside, duh), prunes and baby carrots (blue open container), apple overflow on top of black & brown rice (purple open container).  Not pictured: a thermos of tea.

Lunch today:

Granny smith and pink lady apples, raisins, millet, sweet pea-walnut-small white bean hommos.   Not pictured: a glass of almondmilk, a cup of tea, and a chocolate-espresso-oat cookie (from Christmas, no less).

Here’s what my grandparents made.  I helped with oven-shuffling.  

This is “Easter Bread,” a savoury yeasted loaf with Italian cheese, pepperoni, and prosciutto rolled inside.

Don’t be hatin’ ’cause it’s not VGF; I haven’t made a VGF version yet.  The bread was mucho tasty, but I haven’t had any since…uh…2009?  My grandmother usually makes an all-cheese loaf for Good Friday consumption, which is what I had in 2009 when I was vegetarian.

I made a VGF “Easter Pizza.”  My grandmother’s version is pizza dough with ricotta, eggs, and the leftover cheese and meat from the bread mixed inside.  Mine has tofu and nuts.

Easter ’Za

Modified from my grandmother’s grandmother and Jennie Shapter, “Tomato and Prosciutto Pizza,” in Bread Machine: How to Prepare and Bake the Perfect Loaf (London: Hermes House, 2002), 108-9.

Crust:

1 3/4 cup water, warm

2 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast

1 teaspoon sugar

2 tablespoons olive oil

2 tablespoons ground flaxseed

1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar

1 teaspoon Kosher salt

2 teaspoons xanthan gum

2 cups brown rice flour

1 cup Bob’s Red Mill All Purpose Gluten-Free Baking Flour

1 cup King Arthur Flour Ancient Grains GF blend

(UPDATE: 1 cup oat flour, 1 cup sorghum flour, 1 cup brown rice flour, 1 cup teff flour)

1/4 cup brown rice flour (for rolling)

Filling:

1 16-ounce package firm tofu, drained
2 tablespoons ground flaxseed

zest of 1 lemon

juice of 1 lemon

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 cup walnuts, coarsely ground (I used half a cup of walnuts and half a cup of pecans)

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

salt and pepper to taste

1 cup vegan mozzarella cheese shreds

optional spices:

1/2 teaspoon cayenne

1 teaspoon dried parsley

2 sprigs fresh thyme

a few leaves fresh sage

a clove of garlic, pressed

In a large measuring cup, combine the yeast, water, and sugar.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flours, salt, and xanthan gum.

Once the yeast has foamed, whisk in the ground flaxseed.  Add the oil and vinegar, then pour this on top of the dry ingredients.  Mix well.  Cover and let rise for 30 minutes, or until doubled in size, in a warm, draft-free place.

In a large bowl, combine all the cheese ingredients and mix with your hands (it’s fun to squeeze tofu; just ask Ishmael).

About fifteen minutes before the crust is done rising, preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit.  Oil an 8” square glass baking dish.  Once the dough is done rising, divide it in about equal halves.   On a well-rice-floured surface, roll one part of the dough into a square large enough to fill the bottom of the baking dish.  Carefully transfer to the dish and patch up any breaks.  Pour in the tofu cheeze mixture.  Crumble the cheeze shreds on the top.  Roll out the second part of the dough and fit over the top of the pan.  Crimp together the top and bottom crusts.  Cut vents into the top.

Bake for 45 minutes or until the crust is golden, sounds hollow when tapped, and the edges have begun to pull away from the sides of the pan.  Cool for at least an hour before serving.

Check out the traditional one…

and then there’s mine.

It made for a tasty supper, dipped into tangerine-tomato sauce my mom gave me to take back to school in December.  Lest you think I don’t eat enough, I had broccoli, cauliflower, salad, and cookies for supper, too.

Happy National Tartan Day!  Did you wear your kilt?

Blessed be,

Q