Fluffy Bunny, Curse Reversed
"For what has been, thanks! For what shall be--yes!"
What doors are you going to keep open, once opened?
Premise: I don't like marshmallows.
History: I melted them in my hot chocolate instead of eating them and I liked them *in* Rice Krispies treats. I preferred crunchy Lucky Charms marshies to the Jet-puffed blobs. I don't remember making s'mores (on the grill; my family is not a camping/hiking bunch) until high school. We lit 'em on fire in Honors Biology for the so-effing-difficult calorimetry lab. In marching band, we played this game called "Fluffy Bunny." By then I had already established that I disliked the texture and taste of marshmallows qua marshmallows, and seeing how many I could fit in my mouth and still be able to say, "Fluffy bunny!" did not sound like my idea of fun. Shoving sweet mooshy things down my throat activated my fear of drowning/choking/suffocating I threw a fit as a fellow band member cajoled me to play one year. I think that might have been my last year in marching band. In college, us birthday-cake making girls discovered the marshmallow fluff was good for microwave RKT. I also learned it was a lower-calorie frosting (a tip from one of the ana-mia-thinspo websites I read in the starving period of my disordered eating) and championed its usage.
Fast forward six or seven years. Last year, I discovered vegan ricemallow creme. I will try a lot of VGF products just because they're interesting manufactured substitutions. And I like to support small, sometimes regional businesses.
While still harbouring a dislike for marshmallow, I made s'mores bars (http://www.gothicgranola.com/2012/10/smores-and-mudd.html) last fall with ricemallow creme. Turned out surprisingly delish (especially with spicy chocolate!).
In the spirit of trying things twice, and since I heard there would be s'mores at T-gives, I tracked down a bag of Dandies vegan marshmallows, scored some Endangered raspberry chocolate, and made VGF graham crackers. I had found a box of amaranth graham crackers on Pangea.com in 2011, but I decided to make my own this year because homemade is better. Those graham crackers I used in my first successful vegan yoghurt cheezecake (http://undead-q.livejournal.com/8238.html). The remainder of these shall be used in a cheezecake for my GF friend's birthday.
Modified from Vegan Cookies Invade your Cookie Jar, by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero
1 cup white rice flour (plus more for rolling)
3/4 cup GF oat flour
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
1/3 cup coconut sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 cup canola oil
2 tablespoons molasses
1/4 cup nondairy milk (I used vanilla Silk)
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment or a Silpat.
In a large bowl, whisk together the dry ingredients. Make a well and pour in the oil and molasses. The authors recommend stirring with a fork and I support their recommendation. Stir until thoroughly combined. Add the non-dairy milk and stir until the dough coheres (I had to add flour because the dough was too wet, so I increased the entire amount in the recipe).
Dust the baking sheet with rice flour and transfer the dough to the sheet. With a well-dusted rolling pin, roll to make a big rectangle a little smaller than the size of your baking sheet, about 1/8-inch thick. Use a sharp spatula or plastic knife to cut the dough into rectangles. Prick with the fork in the patterns you desire.
Bake for 14-16 minutes or until browned on the edges, dry, and crisp. Cool on the sheet for 10 minutes before removing to a rack to cool completely.
Aaand there were s'mores! Of which I made four.
Let's how much meaning a squishy confection can take before it breaks.
Another sign of how things have changed: in 2009, I wouldn't have been able to be OK with eating four s'mores. Actually, had I been with family, doesn't matter what year or mental state, I would've eaten more. I noticed I was tired and probably not making the best choice, but I did what I did without malice towards self! Becoming neutral to the taste, seeing marshies as a vehicle for my pyromaniac urges, getting over the texture have made me amenable to s'mores.
Would I shove marshmallows in my face/ play fluffy bunny? Vegan marshies are kind of expensive, and I try to avoid sugar, so no. Since college, I have reified and redefined the horror of sticking my fingers and other things down my throat (from the purging phase of disordered eating) and released the fear of suffocating/choking...cue David Bowie's "Changes." Plus, having had vegan marshmallows for the first time while in the company of good friends means they're good for social consumption and not nearly as fun otherwise.
Cookies of change! Let's have some more.