Gothic Granola

...For when you have cranberries, but sauce seems like too much of a project and pie or bars or muffins are really too much of a project. Juice is also a project. But you have to eat breakfast, right? Why not make a smoothie?

It's Thursday, and it's time for a roundup of wellness bits and bobs, readers.

This blog post is dedicated to the awesome blog that is no more, "Option Pitch and Waffle Crisp" and its intrepid author.

"What really happens to you if you eat gluten, though?" Women's Health Magazine has this most enlightening article for all the new faux paus committed around the GF-ers. Actually, saying these things to anyone who has allergies ("I tried soy nut butter once and it was disgusting!" to a peanut allergic person) is rude. Not to be all high and mighty, but a little education goes a long way towards creating a better dining (and  kissing ) situation. That being said, eating gluten-free and eating more whole foods (the two generally go together) involves a palate adjustment, visually and physically. TC rightly called me out on using being GF as an excuse to eat even weirder foods. Green juice and overnight oatmeal, anyone?

"Start your two day life on a two day vacation" Fasting brings me back to the natural swing of things: fatigue, hunger, boredom, interest, what gives me joy and what causes me pain. It takes a chainsaw to the social, political, religious,  et aliis  reasons and justifications I build around certain behaviours.

I'm in the midst of a juice fast. I don't have a juicer, just a Vitamix, so it's more I'm on an "obliterated fruits and veggies" fast. While checking out Khepra's Raw Food Juice Bar online recently, I found their   juice fast  instructions. Says I, I've got a Vitamix and some cash to spend on raw materials.  Off I went in hopes of resetting my portion size concept and purify my diet.

Q is for Quinoa. Quinoa pizza bites are all over the ’nets. Google it. Figured I’d throw my hat into the ring, my colonial tricorn into the Coraline other-world ring, that is. The particular recipe I deconstructed and rebuilt is from a blog called “The Way to His Heart Blog,” taking its title from the phrase, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

“What does the Q stand for?” is at the top of my FAQ about Q. Especially since I work in a public place, people either see the tattoo on my arm or see my nametag. Yes, it’s my legal name. No, it doesn’t stand for anything, hence no period after the letter. Read here and here for details.

$(6,4)@#, the pen name of one of my plush cats, answers a question from the mailbag. Or from the aether, as Ownie has heard this question quite a bit. Dear $(6,4)@#, What’s this smoothie craze all about? Why does putting my food in the blender benefit me? Clearly it does, if I see juices and smoothies in the cold case at every place from Wawa to Whole Foods. How do I make a good smoothie? Smoothie Seeker pear-kefir

For real and for…the “working class university of life” as I saw someone listed as their school on Facebook.  I’m from the deconstructionist school of eating, but that’s a whole ’nother story. On Monday I officially began the Institute for Integrative Nutrition ® program to become a health coach.  What is a health coach?  A health coach works with people who want to make positive changes in their physical, spiritual, and mental health by encouraging said people along their wellness journey.  A health coach makes recommendations for sustainable changes and holds hir clients accountable for making gentle changes in their lives in support of the clients’ goals.

Soup is a tradition for Solstice (OK, so, fine--a tradition of two years).   The wife of one of my spiritual mothers makes a delicious vegan bean soup for their Solstice party.   It’s fortification for the late-night labyrinth walking and firepit gathering. I brought the soup described below to new friends’ house and one of them suggested I bring it to their Solstice party.  It’s a bright, sturdy soup to celebrate the return of the light.

It's gratitude season, folks. I am grateful for greens and the wonderful people who grow them, especially the farmers at the farmers market.

Kale donuts.   You heard it from Esther at A, B, C, Vegan first. Not only did I make shelf-stable breakfast treats for the work conference at which I will be working when this is posted, but I also made these to weather Frankenstorm!  The weather’s a birthday present, I guess.  The past six or seven years I have seen snow on my birthday; this year it’s a hurricane.

This one’s a seasonal curry this time .   I think I’ve made something from almost every one of Chef Michael Kiss’s cooking classes I’ve attended at the Old Town Whole Foods.   I like his food philosophy: “An onion is an onion.”   Using what’s available to you will create a unique dish with your personal touch.   Since I’m just about incapable of following a recipe to a tee (I have opinions about what I put in my mouth.   Strong opinions.)—or a tea—I like that advice.

This morning at 06:00 I ran to the Alexandria farmers’ market in hopes of securing two kinds of greens, two kinds of fruit, a carnival or acorn squash, and cauliflower.   No dice on the cauliflower.   In the early morning darkness, I looked from the hot peppers to the summer squash to the bell peppers at the Bigg Riggs tables and settled on an orange pepper to include in the curry I’m making later today.

Post III and final in the Cheeze Series As I walked to the Metro one day this week, I realized why I like short pants.  In a past life, I was a nineteenth-century boy who wore breeches.  Capris, cropped pants, pedal-pushers, Bermuda shorts, whatever you want to call them, I wear those and long socks.  Yep, though I haven’t yet undergone a past-life regression, I’m fairly certain I must’ve been a breeches-wearing boy in another lifetime; how else can I explain this affinity for capris?

For lack of a better term, I’m calling this next dish a seed butter.  Since I used mammoth zucchini and summer squash for the cake and pie, I scraped out the seeds because they would have added too much volume.  The internets didn’t have much in the way of a recipe for roasted  summer  squash seeds.  I sautéed the innards of a giant squash and a giant zucchini in the same pan as I used to saute the zukes for the Z-pie.  Then I Vitamixed them (“to Vitamix” has become a verb in my world, much like “to Google” something is a verb).

Sometimes I see a recipe or make something and have a conviction that it’s a dish for someone I know.  Even if I’m not going to see him or her, I  know  that s/he will enjoy this dish.  Sometimes it’s obvious based on people’s preferences (chocolate cookies for my chocolate-loving mother, pudding for my aunt), but sometimes it’s more obscure.

Brack brack brack.  I’ve made this once every year for the past two years.  This year, I made Irish tea brack to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, and I made it gluten-free.

Final circle: polenta pie.  My uncle asked me if this was vegan shepherd’s pie, and I low-blood-sugar snapped that it wasn’t.  In hindsight, it is: Italian peasant shepherd’s pie.  I used turnip greens instead of the original spinach because I usually eat spinach for salad greens anyway.  Besides, spinach is bourgeois these days; turnip greens, though being rediscovered by hipsters and the like, are peasant food.  Using kale would straddle both the traditional and the elite.  Toscano kale would just  make  this, but, alas, I settled for the frozen turnip greens.  I also added a can of beans since I like protein.  I used black beans, which makes the dish a tad southwestern.  If I used cumin and the Southwest spice profile…you see where this can go.  I’ve been making combinations of grains lately to use up the odd 2/3 cup of rice, quinoa, lentils, et cetera all in one big batch.  Since I didn’t have enough polent...