Gothic Granola

Running with scissors is fun until you fall.   via GIPHY So is corporate wellness: it sounds like a tonne of fun, with stretch breaks on the clock, healthy snacks in the break room, employer-sponsored massages, health coaching, exercise classes...

This is the first ever guest post hosted on my blog, by Ela Mirowski, the creator of the naturally-scented, biodegradable Ticklepaks shoe deodorizers. Check out her site: Ticklepaks.com . [caption id="attachment_2892" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Chia seeds in oatmeal[/caption]

Going gluten-free is not a magic bullet to health, contrary to this article from Paleo Magazine . If you have, in fact, experienced real intestinal damage at the hands of bread, pizza, cake, and beer, then your health is going to take a nosedive even after becoming gluten-free. Why? The body doesn't heal overnight.   Mmm, cake... Eww, beer...

I was right about a rant brewing, but my prescient vision was off by a week. Yes, I finally finished reading Frank Herbert's  Dune .  

Having your head stuck up your ass so far you can't see is the wrong kind of flexibility.

Rather than quote a lot of Shakespeare, or speak in meta-voice about how much I struggled to write this post (I didn't...I just began writing), I begin at the beginning. What is in a name? As I served this dessert that met the  Health Starts Here  standards for Wednesday's Foodie Call, I refined my description. "Sweet hommos" was a turn-off to a lot of people. Come on, foodies, you'd try garlic ice cream, right? Roasted garlic ice cream would actually be pretty tasty, methinks. "Cookie Dough" confused many people into thinking it was actually raw dough. Nope, it's the flavour. Kind of like "Birthday Cake" ice cream from Coldstone Creamery. It ain't cake; it tastes reminiscent of the real deal. I could go on, and I don't intend to insult the patrons' intelligence. I'll pacify myself with the platitude, "genius is usually misunderstood," wink wink. Anyway, I didn't scale up the dates enough when I used an ent...

Today I present two recipes using golden assam tea, both of which were made for “events.”  Golden Assam Tea Bread and Irish Tea Brack But Q, you say, I thought you weren’t going to post more than one recipe per post?!  Well, no, I’m trying not to, but one of these recipes is a rerun.  I ought to trust myself more. As I searched for this recipe, I failed to take into account that after I separated out the recipes from my gonzo 2011-2012 posts, I have two posts with “brack” in the title, and the bread recipe was in the second post. I knew it was on this blog somewhere! Anyway, I redid the recipe, and I used chia seeds in the egg replacer since I think they bind better. I used different dried fruit as I have a friend with date sensitivity. I also used different flours in a different ratio since that’s what I have in my pantry.

Dear $(6,4)@#, What’s all this detox business about?  Can you give me some pointers? Sincerely, Cats on a Cleanse